in my beading era
Ahoy... I've been really bad at keeping up with this. I'm really damn tired lol. I've been off work for another week, annual leave this time, and it's funny how quick I forget that I was recently having a mental breakdown the likes of which I've never experienced before. And that I'll be unemployed soon. If my employer stops giving me contract extensions one day, anyway...
So anyway, I would say I've been doing pretty good lately, but this is compared to me a month ago or whatever. And this is also compared to me when I'm working. Which --- god damn is it a struggle to get through 8 hours of essentially brain work. The pressure is off in a lot of ways since I spoke to my manager but I guess I expected it would be easy from that point and it. Isn't.
Anyway, I'm not working right now and that sort of feels like it doesn't exist. I've been making little jewellery stuff for Sam and Dana and I've been learning some new stuff for that which has been fun. I bought a vintage digital camera inspired by Sam, which was a whole ordeal cuz I had to buy a specific xD picture card rather than SD card, and then new batteries, and I'm just relieved it works now and I took a few cute lil photos. I might start putting some up on here. Thought it would be cool to add to my website too. I just need to go more places where I can take photos...
I feel like I'm a little quiet these days which is partially cuz I'm having a lot of hands-on hobbies that pass the time really fast, and partially cuz I dunno... It feels like a lot of energy I don't always feel like is worth expending... And partially because on some level I have a lot on my mind like, what will I do next? Will I be able to get another job? What won't make me insane or exhausted as a job? Etc etc... which, I know everything will just go how it goes, but... I maybe need to start facing the problem head-on.
Umm also other current project, slowly moving crap around, getting rid of some furniture, doing some feng shui in my Stuff Room, move stationary bike in there, repaint walls. Not in that order.
Other other project, hopefully trade in my bike and get a good chunk of money towards a smaller one cuz it's not a good time. And I'd like to cycle more. And it's gonna be too cold and wet soon.
Other, not really a project -- get my biceps back a little bit lol. I moved my brother's old dumbbells from the inaccessible bottom shelf behind a chair, and I figure I'll just do a little something every day, every other day... I kind of just want to move around more in general but. Nothing crazy. I don't wanna get into a whole Thing that's not good for me again lol.
Ok...
Current mood: tired
Currently reading: the worm ouroboros (will it ever end !)
Currently listening to: