I'm BACK again
Look ok the occasional post is better than no posts forever. I'm doing this for posterity in a sense. Hope I can come back and look at these posts years from now.
So much has been happening which would really be an ideal time to be recording all the stuff that's happening but it's like. Too much to process and all has become one big ball of nothing. Still I think journaling is a good way to process and separate the things from each other.
The biggest thing is starting a new job of course. It's sort of like my old job but I suddenly have a lot more responsibilities and I dunno what the hell I'm doing. Trying to just keep it real and ask for help cuz like I'm just clueless lmao. Taking one thing at a time though. It just means I've been pretty exhausted and I have no mental energy left after work. Hoping it improves when I get used to it. There's a couple other people starting in the same role and one of them, I really only see her one day a week but she's nice to talk to, just surface level stuff but since we're in the same boat somewhat, it's nice I'm not completely on my own in this struggle lol.
I got my transition glasses and my pink tinted glasses and I've been wearing the transitions at work for the past couple weeks and nobody's said anything about them because why would they lol idk why I get so self conscious about stuff. Nobody mentioned my nose piercing or when I switched it out for a ring. I think people really don't look at each other's faces much lmao. Or they notice things on a subconscious level but don't mention it. It makes me feel better though cuz I've been thinking about cutting my hair kinda short again and it feels less of a big deal now if I did. I literally cut all my hair off and went to get my exam results when I was 16 so idk when I got so afraid lmao. I guess people pointed it out then. I don't remember. See what I mean. Who gives a damn seriously.
I played that new Inzoi game a little bit, it was fun to play around with but it is in early access so I can't really hold it against them for being a bit lifeless lol. Hoping it improves. Mainly enjoyed making hyperrealistic versions of my characters lol. I think Paralives will be the one for me though, high hopes for that, I believe in those guys. Also want to get back to finishing my fish and sea creature collections in Animal Crossing. Not felt like doing much of anything the past couple weeks though.
Been considering starting a sewing project and I also want to do some embroidery... But I dunno. I actually randomly bought a pattern for an IKEA alien plushie a while back, it's more of a challenge than anything I've made (random square coin pouches etc.) but I think I could pull it off. Just waiting for inspiration to strike. Getting out the sewing machine is a whole ordeal.
More clearing out my grandad's house today. I'm glad I can be part of the process cuz we've made some fun days out of it instead of it being one huge overwhelming, depressing task for my mum.
I've been feeling my mortality a little bit lately lmao crazy at 26 but I've just been a little bit scared of running out of time when I feel like I'm finally starting to live for myself a bit. Also a little scared of losing other people. I dunno I've been around a lot of talk about brand new people and very old people lately so I guess it's got me thinking.
Current Mood: contemplative Current Food: Chinese Food Saturday Current Music: literally having a Johnny Mathis moment right now